


Drunk Desicions

by OptimisticJamie



Series: Attack on Titan [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Drunkenness, uncontrolled actions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-01 22:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4037455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OptimisticJamie/pseuds/OptimisticJamie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He'd done it again. Getting drunk was not a good way to drown his sorrows but he did it anyway, and once again he found himself standing on Marie Dok's front step.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunk Desicions

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think Erwin would be the kind of person to be throwing up drunk in a gutter but I'm sure he'd drink to drown his sorrows at least once, so let's just say he had a slight drinking problem till this night.

She was pregnant. With Nile's child. Erwin should have been happy for them but he just couldn't bring himself to feel that emotion towards the occasion. In person, Erwin had congratulated Nile when he was told, quickly shoving his own emotions into a six-foot ditch only to have them resurface at a later date. 

So now he was drunk at a local bar all on his own. Mike had given up trying to talk him back to the Survey Copse headquarters, Levi and Hanji tried a more direct approach involving bribed and threats and eventually gave up, expecting him to be back by morning. Erwin took another gulp of his booze before slamming it down on the bar top and ordering another.   
The bartender looked at Erwin pathetically before getting him another drink. Erwin downed this one quicker than the last. 

Erwin Smith had given up Marie. He had moved on. He didn't want her to live a life in constant worry for his return in one piece alive and well, so Erwin had given her up, spared her, and gotten over his love for her. He acquired a tattoo in a shady place with probably not-so-hygienic needles. A heart with Marie's name on it on the left side of his chest, just below his shoulder, as a way to remember her. That was when his drinking habit started. 

Now he thinks that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have such a remembrance permanently printed in ink on his skin, but it was too late now. He finished another drink. 

Nile had asked Erwin to be his best man at the wedding. This was the second blow to Erwin's pride. First; knowing Nile was going to marry the woman he loved. He agreed, because it would make his friend happy. Because Marie was happy. Nile was a member of the Military Police. They lived in the interior, behind Wall Sina, miles away from the Titans. They would live a long and happy life together. Erwin just had to accept that. He downed his sorrows in booze, just like tonight. 

He downed a shot of whiskey. 

The third and final blow was the news of a child. After two more pints of beer Erwin tipped the bartender and stumbled out of the bar. They were in Wall Sina, the entire Survey Copse, so Erwin knew where he was going, where he wanted to go and where he probably shouldn't. Not again. Not like last time. That had caused him too much pain and all he did was walk past. But this time he stopped. 

He'd done it again. Getting drunk was not a good way to drown his sorrows but he did it anyway, and once again he found himself standing on Marie Dok's front step.   
But this time instead of standing there and eventually walking back to headquarters he rung the doorbell. Nile wasn't home. He was on night shift. Marie answered the door. 

She showed no signs of pregnancy yet to Erwin's eyes. But Erwin hadn't seen her for a very long time and thus didn't know how she'd look with an expanding belly. Nike would know by now at first look. This upset Erwin. It should be him. It should be his child Marie was carrying. Not Nile's. His. 

"Commander Smith!?" Marie was confused at Erwin's appearance. Why wouldn't she be? He never visited. 

"D-Do you.....love....m-me?" Erwin asked, drunk and slurring and barely standing upright. 

"Sir I'm afraid you're too incapacitated to be asking these questions." Marie replied slowly. Staying within the boundary of her door in case she need to close it with haste. 

Erwin held up a swaying hand and pointed to her gently. "I.......l-loved you.....Ma-wee. F-for years." 

"Erwin. You need to go home. You're drunk." Marked stated flatly and with authority. She began to close the door. 

Erwin panicked and grabbed her shoulders. Marie stared at him, frightened beyond her wits. Erwin wasn't an abusive drunk. Was he?

Erwin held her shoulder for what seemed like minutes but was only mere second before he pulled her closer to himself and kissed her. Marie didn't return the kiss. If she wanted to Erwin couldn't tell. Slowly Erwin realised what he was doing and pulled away, releasing Marie. 

"Oh...oh hell...oh Marie, oh, I'm so sorry." Erwin began to apologise profusely before his stomach suddenly lurched. 

Catching himself he stared at Marie again; "I'm so sorry Marie." He said quickly before he fled her house, praying to someone, anyone, that he was only dreaming. When he had gotten a block from her house he turned to the gutter and emptied the contents of his stomach onto the ground. He retched and cried and hoped that someone would find him so he didn't have to walk back to the barracks on his own. 

An hour later Mike and Levi found him lying on the cobblestones. 

"Tch." Levi walked up to him. "Erwin, you need to pull yourself together."

Mike came up beside Erwin and helped him to his feet. "You need to let it go. Leave her. She's happy."

As Levi and Mike walked Erwin back to the Survey Copse barracks Erwin lifted his head, his eyes red from tears. He smelt like grog and vomit. "That's all I want for her."

Erwin never touched a bottle of ale with the intention to drown sorrows again.


End file.
